Thursday, August 13, 2009

The John Sterling Drinking Game

Based on Andrew Fletcher's Michael Kay drinking game, and with his full permission.

With some help from the followers of @rebecca_glass.

PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY I am not liable if you die of alcohol poisoning or any other alcohol-related fatality.


The It Is High Cluster

Every time he says "It is high, it is far..." take a drink.

If it is "Gone," take two.

If it is "off the Wall," take three.

If it is "CAUGHT", finish the drink.

If it is "foul", you lose.

The A-Bomb Cluster

If it is "El Capitan", take a drink.

"Johnny Rocket", take a drink.

"A Tex Message" and "You're on the Mark Teixeira", take three.

"An A-Bomb from A-Rod", take a drink.

"An A-Bomb from Matsui," finish the drink.

"A Thrilla from Godzilla," take a drink.

"Jorge juiced one," take a drink.

"SWISHALICIOUS," finish the drink.

"Robbie Canó, doncha know?" take a drink. If there were men on base, finish the drink.

"The Melkman delivers", take a drink.

The I-don't-believe-what-I-just-saw cluster

"You know Suzyn, you can't predict baseball", or any variation there of, take a drink.

"Amazing", take two drinks.

Take a drink if he botches a non home-run play and then tries to make up for it by saying "from the booth" or any such that indicates that he needs glasses.

"Lined like a bullet! Base hit!" One drink for a single. "It goes into a corner", two. Any more, add a drink per base. Inside the park HR, finish the drink.

"How d'ya like that?" Two drinks.

The Win Warble Cluster

If the "theeeee" warble lasts longer than .... seconds, take .... drinks:

2 ---> 1
3 ---> 2
4 ---> 3
5+ --> Finish the darned drink already.

If it's ALCS over, finish the drink.

If it's World Series over, what the hell are you doing playing a drinking game? Go start a riot in Times Square!

The wasn't watching cluster

Take a drink if he disagrees with Suzyn.

Take a drink for every two minutes he talks without mentioning what happens during the game.

If Sterling sings, ever, finish two drinks.

Two drinks if he says "Let's build something togethaaaa" instead of "together." Three drinks if he sings at any time.