Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Found in New York (Postgame Notes 2 July 2008)


The missing offense advertised last night has been found today, at the corner of 161st Ave and River Avenue. It was found in a condition healthy enough for 18 runs on 16 hits and 7 walks.

The offense was returned by pitchers L. Mendoza, W. Madrigal and J. Wright and hitters J. Giambi, B. Abreu, A. Rodriguez, R Canò, and B. Gardner.

The reward for the tip will be given to one Hank Steinbrenner, whose pre-game comments were instrumental in the offense's return.

Pitchers Mendoza, Madrigal and Wright have the thanks of the Yankees' pitching staff, and Sir Sidney Ponson would like to offer his own personal "thank you" as well.



On 3 July, a group of baseball players known as the Boston Red Sox will be arriving at Yankee Stadium. Said group of baseballers are known to be unwelcome in the city of New York, and fans of the New York Yankees are asked to exercise all due caution in watching said baseball games.

Known consequences of watching Yankees-Red Sox include: heart arrythmia, hyperventilation, compulsive nail biting, exclamation of vulgar remarks, alcoholic beverage spillage and minor property destruction.

Casual baseball fans are advised not to watch said games unless under proper fanatical supervision.

(actually, you might want to reverse that)

1 comment:

  1. Glad that the offense was found. I think that the reward goes to Hank Steinbrenner!. He found the Yanks offense, he found Mussina earlier this year. Now I hope he puts out an APB for Melky Cabrera.