Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Missing in New York

Offense Capable of Mounting Sustained Attack over Nine Innings


Said offense ranges in ages from 23-38. Mix of American, Latino and Japanese. Can play every position on a baseball diamond, though there is controversy over shortstop, the first baseman doesn't like to throw to second and the right fielder has a phobia of walls.

Third baseman is known for hitting home runs.

First baseman's face may be obscured by garish mustache.

Last Seen:
Offense was last spotted on the evening of 27 June 2008 at Shea Stadium. Previous whereabouts include Pittsburgh, PA and 2007.

Reward includes October Baseball

If spotted, please notify one Joe Girardi, 161st Street and River Avenue, Bronx, New York ASAP.

This notice published on behalf of Darrel Rasner, Mike Mussina, Joba Chamberlain, Andy Pettitte, Sidney Ponson, Dan Giese, Jose Veras, Kyle Farnsworth and Mariano Rivera


  1. It also doesnt help that they have been housed by injuries, and the replacements are huge downgrades.

  2. hahahaha...that was awesome!

  3. What's the controversy at shortstop?

  4. mos: There are arguments as to Jeter's defensive abilities.

  5. Where have you gone Joe Dimaggio?

    There are so many guys with offensive potential, but it seems they show up less and less these days.