Thursday, April 16, 2009

Life, Death and Baseball (Postgame Notes 16 April 2009)

[As some of you know, I was informed of the death of a close relative yesterday]

I wanted baseball to comfort me.

I can't say why I turned to baseball over anything else, expect that maybe it's because it seems so normal to me. Something that will go on, play on, not stop for the trivial things such as life.

Anything I say, or want to say, and anything I do, or want to do, seems inappropriate.

So I guess it only seems fair that the Yankees should loose this game as they have.

It wouldn't be appropriate to celebrate a win today.

It's so selfish, isn't it? To think that the Yankees shouldn't win because *I* don't deserve to celebrate anything?

It's hard to imagine that at one point, as recently as the seventh inning, the game was a 1-1 tie and Sabathia had pitched on pure guts. Little command, but somehow kept the tribe to one run.

I keep asking myself if this loss is really the bullpen's fault, or if somehow it's my fault because I decided to watch it.

I know, I know. It sounds unreasonable. What possible control can I have over a game I am watching on television?

Maybe it's some consolation that they'll play baseball again tomorrow, where I can probably guarantee you that not one man on either 25-man roster or in the dugout or on the staff for either team is aware of my existence. That's okay though, because that's the way it's supposed to be.

Life goes on. We can only control so much.