Slippery When Wet (NHL and NBA Roundups)

So I didn't do this last week because I had to do (my not-so-good) football picks a day early, so let's see if I can get back into the swing of things.

NHL

Eastern Conference

Philadelphia: So I know Philly's not exactly the city of brotherly love, but dude, enough with the hits already.

NY Rangers: Hey, they're getting better press than the Knicks for once. Who wudda thunk it?

NY Islanders: Still...uh...getting no press?

NJ Devils: Brodeur's 500th win was like A-Rod's 500th HR: now that he has it, he's on a tear. As is the team. Colin White and Jaime Langenbrunner might also have something to do with it.

Pittsburgh: Sidney, you're fun to watch, but MVPs are generally given to players when their team wins


Ottawa: Five losses now? Geez, what's happened up north?

Montreal: Maybe they'll actually be playing in May? That'd be pretty awesome.

Boston: Eh, give 'em an SI cover like the Pats/Sox/Celtics, and then see what they do.

Buffalo: Moving up in the world! Or, at least, on the US/Canada border...

Toronto: Dude. Not cool.


Carolina: Down south, a hockey team is more successful than a basketball team. Wha?!

Florida: Wait. Weren't these guys in like last place last time I did this?

Atlanta: Changing coaches can apparently do a lot of good.

Tampa Bay: Seems to be confusing itself with Florida at the moment.

Washington: Well, what else do you expect from a team from Washington?


Western Conference

Detroit: As you were.

St. Louis: Keep singing.

Chicago: Third place? An accomplishment.

Columbus: Except...

Nashville: Maybe not.


Vancouver: Hey, first place again! Yay Canada!

Minnesota: So do the people in Minnesota care more about the Wild or Santana?

Colorado: Wonder if it's as cold there as it is here...

Calgary: Well, certainly colder here than Syracuse.

Edmonton: But given the lack of winning, this might be the coldest of all.


Dallas: Hey! Finally, some truth in advertising!

Anaheim: Seem to have decided that y'know, defending the holy grail Cup is not a bad idea.

San Jose: Muddled in the middle?

Phoenix: Hey, they're not in last!

LA Kings: But they are.


NBA

Eastern Conference

Boston: You can't get more 'running away with the division' than they are. Well, you can, but it's not likely.

Toronto: Treading water, which most years is enough to win the Atlantic.

New Jersey: Wait. So you lose six straight, five of which are at home or close by on the road and then go 3-0 on the West Coast? W. T. F. ?!

Philadelphia: Has the benefit of not being New York.

New York: *point and laugh*


Detroit: This city's got a thing for winter sports, doesn't it?

Cleveland: Heh, finally realized they were a playoff team last year, have they?

Milwaukee: I thought these guys weren't supposed to be as good without Allen?

Indiana: Dude, what happened?

Chicago: Michael Jordan is not pleased.


Orlando: You beat the Celtics? Thank you, my new #2 favorite NBA team!

Washington: Treading water, but without Arenas they quickly become the Titanic.

Charlotte: Well, for an expansion team...

Atlanta: Dude, I thought you were supposed to be good?

Miami: Not even the best team in Florida?!


Western Conference

Utah: Keep singing, dancing...

Denver: Melo's good, but the frosh Syracuse have might yet be...well, I can't say better, but...

Portland: You lost to the Nets at home?

Minnesota: Youch.

Seattle: Youch-ier.


Phoenix: Sun-nier.

LA Lakers: Kobe? You've gotta make those FTs at the buzzer.

Golden State: Finally picking it up.

LA Clippers: Noooo! C'mon, it sucks when the Lakers are better than you!

Sacramento: Dude, weren't you guys really good once upon a time?


San Antonio: Yea. You're not beating these guys.

Dallas: Cowboy up?

New Orleans: If only they played in the East...

Houston: Yao-uch. Sorry. Was waiting to be used.

Memphis: Well, you beat the Nets.